Confessional : Howard Hawkwood aka Jetman

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	Jetman Confessional
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Confessional : Howard Hawkwood aka Jetman

The Discard House has grown very quiet.

I am not complaining, mind you.  I welcome  the quiet.   I can actually hear myself think.   We no longer have Reverend Wintergreen insisting that we say grace every time we send out for a pizza (which I don’t do very often, the pizza out here is terrible).  I don’t have to fight King Cobalt over the remote any more (he tried to put on some moronic Mexican wrestling show right in the middle of a rerun of Thirty Minutes Over Broadway, the classic Howard Hawks version, not the stupid remake with Dudley Moore).   No more steel wool pads left in the sink after Rustbelt scrubs the spots off his elbows, and no more of Hardhat’s filthy language (his mother should have washed his mouth out with soap, that’s what my mother says).

And we still have a good crowd when we gather around the dinner table.  Joe Twitch grows more annoying every day, and I have grown  a little tired of Wild Fox and Spasm with their stupid pranks, but the rest are nice enough.  Diver misses the swimming pool, of course, but she and Gardener are both nice ladies, Jade Blossom is very beautiful, and Blrr is always giddy and girly and full of fun.  She  is all a-twitter about this sitcom pilot that’s being developed for her, Who’s That Grrl?  She even offered to give me a guest star role, as a dotty inventor who sells her a pair of jet-powered skates.  I’m no actor, though, so I said thanks, but no thanks.

I do miss Bubbles.   She’s a good woman, bright and friendly, and always cheerful and kind.   Earth Witch seems pleasant too, though she started as a Heart while I was on the Diamonds, so I never knew her well.   I wish them well in Egypt.  I wish all of them well, even the ones I did not especially like.  I think they made a hasty decision, and one that they will regret, but I know they wanted to do good.

It was quite a scene here with half the house rushing about and packing and the rest of us arguing with them and telling them they were idiots.  Well, I didn’t do that, personally, but Tiffani wasn’t shy with her opinion, and neither was Joe Twitch.  Gardener just got quiet, Jade thought they were all funny, and Buford tried to phone his uncle in the Everglades to ask if he should go along.  And Rachel… well, she got so angry when Bubbles said she couldn’t come with them that Diver had to hide her bag of stuffed animals.  All very exciting for the audience at home, I’m sure.

We’ve had too much excitement this last week, if you ask me.  The big vote, and half the discards running off to Egypt, and of course  the earthquake.   We don’t have earthquakes in Philadelphia, and I can’t say I like them much.  I thought it was a freight train rolling through the living room.  Half the dishes in the drainer jumped onto the floor and shattered, though I’ve put them back together good as new with some glue I made with toothpaste and pineapple juice, zapped in the microwave.  My jetpack fell off the hook and bounced off my shoulder too.  I still have a bruise when it struck me, but I’m pleased to say it still works fine.

Some of the others got a few bruises as well, but no one was badly hurt.   We could easily have been been killed, as mother pointed out when she finally got through to me on the phone.  She was almost in tears, she was so pleased to hear my voice.  This has been the longest we have ever been apart.

But there’s only one more week, and we can all go home.  I can’t say that I will be sad to see the last of Los Angeles.    The show was certainly an experience and I met a number of interesting people.  Not all of them were as pleasant as I might have wished, however, and very few of them were as smart as they thought they were… especially the ones who went running off to Egypt.

We all signed contracts with the production company when we were chosen for the show, and the language was quite plain.  We were to stay until the end of filming.  All those who left without authorization are in breach.  They have certainly forfeited their per diem and the generous gifts that they were to receive at the wrap party, and if what I am hearing from the crew is true, the network is going to sue every one of them.  Bad enough that they broke their contracts, but I’ve also heard that Rustbelt destroyed Mr. Berman’s car.I would not have thought that Wally would be so wantonly destructive.  Perhaps what Stuntman said about him was true after all.

I understand why Rustbelt  would want to Egypt, I suppose.  He needed to do something to take the tarnish off his name.  And Simoon has relations there, so it makes sense that she would go as well.    I suppose Holy Roller felt it was God’s will.  The others, though… most of them have good intentions, I’m sure, but as mother always says, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Mind you, I did consider going with them.  Don’t think I wasn’t tempted.  Terrible things are happening in Egypt, if what Jonathan Hive is reporting on the internet can be believed.   “What would Jetboy do?” I asked myself.  Robert Tomlin never shied away from a fight.   But he never broke his word either, and all of us signed those contracts.  The network and the producers have put a lot of money into American Hero.  Hundreds of people tried out for the show, and they picked us.  I don’t think it is fair for us to repay them by running off before the show is over.  I spoke with mother about it as the others were throwing clothes into their bags, and she agreed.  “Jetboy was no quitter,” she reminded me.  “Win or lose, Howard, he kept fighting to the very end.”

That’s so.  So I am still here, and I’ll be here to the end.

Now it looks as though the American Hero will be Stuntman or Rosa Loteria.  The way I see it, it all comes down to luck.  Stuntman is Stuntman; he’s tough, he bounces back, he keeps on coming, but he’s what he is, never more and never less.  Rosa’s power is all chance.  She shuffles that deck and draws a card, and it’s all so random.  Some of her personae have formidable powers, but she’s just as likely to transform herself into chicken-woman or melon-girl,  with no more power than your average joker.

And no one wants us to say this, but it should have been Curveball.  She could have taken either of them, or both of them together.

But never mind.  It’s been a long ride, but it’s almost over, and I can’t wait to get home to Philadelphia.  I’m going to take mother to Pat’s King of Steaks as soon as I arrive.  No one out here knows how to make a proper cheese steak.

Comments

[QueenOfSpades]

Hi Jetman!

The City of Brotherly Love looks to be ready for you when you come back... currently we have 4 guys dressed up as Jetman outside, and 5 Philly Fanatics (4 of them Jokers.. its a popular Joker here I think).

Mom had to open the horse fields for people because they wouldn't go away and they were blocking the road. Thankfully the police turned away the Beer Trucks that someone ordered. And "Gino's Steak" is sending a bunch of their steaks out... thankfully they called first and found out we hadn't ordered them but think they will do it for free since the press and Red Cross are here.

Oh and since Uncle Wally made me read all of Great-Grand-dads Jetboy books when he heard you made the show. I thought in Issue #17, Jetboy broke his word when he found out the Nazi's had lied to him when making him promise never to enter Glauten Castle. [See Uncle Eddie.. I did read those comics.. even .. with .. their .. turgid writing.]

[BookWyrm]

I didn't read those comics myself, QoS, but if your Uncle Eddie took good care of them, they should have a nice resale value. In case you guys need the extra cash, of course.

[QueenOfSpades]

BookWyrm, we might :) The grounds look like a lunatics convention at the moment.

Good news! We got a teleporter. A lady from Canada flew in with some friends who used to be Canadian peacekeepers.

Bad news! Anything she teleports is dead at the other end.

So we are trying to get loads of blankets water and stuff and trying to figure out if we can help her get a good enough picture in her head from a TV screen and some computer maps.

Finally, people please stop bringing heavy winter coats... we can only give them to the Red Cross and Salvation Army since they are not useful in the desert.

[Catalhoyuk]

All right, the burkas should be here by tonight for everyone who needs one. I also managed to talk an old friend from high school into joining the good fight. She calls herself Radio Free Alicia, and her ace power is a doozy -- she's got the ability to turn into data. Radio waves, bit packets, broadband signals, you name it. She can travel through radio signals, TV signals, satellite feeds, etc., and alter the feed of whatever she's in. She should be able to help with recon, and if any military officials are getting involved (like in Egypt), she'll probably be able to gum up their works.

[QueenOfSpades]

Ok, I will let BlackBox know... he isn't answering email at the moment which means he is doing his once a week wire scrub and eating silicon chips in BBQ sauce (or something.. never met him since he lives somewhere in California). I think he would love to meet Radio Free Alicia.. he can't turn himself into data.. but he says he can leave his Meat Body when he has a big enough wire and enough chips eaten or pushed into him.

[BlackBox]

Haha Charlie.. "Meat Puppet" not "Meat Body".. geez you kids don't read enough Stirling and Gibson these days.

Ok sorry for the delay in getting with you guys.. I had to talk to the Man for a bit about some videos. The equipment at the house has been confiscated while they look to see if I have the originals. So I am at a friends house for a bit with his DSL modem.. man is it slow to think things at 256K. I should be somewhere else this evening and can talk better.

Catalhoyuk, I have not met Radio Free Alicia.. but I have heard of her on the Riders In The Sky cypherpunk list. She's good real good. If I can get a better link, she can find me around my server at http://jokersbrigade.smoogespace.com/ I will be the guy dressed in black. We can work out logistics.

On the voice mail front, Eddie is still in South America. The teleporter is still passed out from them having to leave the second port stop in haste (the field was being used for a drug swap when they popped in.). Thankfully he was able to get them to a road somewhere in the Amazon, and they are driving to the coast. If Happy can't wake up they will be looking for a DC-3 or something to Monrovia. If he does they will try to make the port.

IL-Hamdu-Allah [I think I got that right in Ascii]

[BookWyrm]

A few humanitarian groups out here in Long Island are trying to do the same, get food, water & medical supplies out there, but there is a lack of teleporters in my area, and from what I have heard, some guy named 'The Highwayman' hasn't been heard from in a long, long time. Seems he could get stuff from one place to another by driving (don't ask me how or who, no clue). Also, a lot of shipping places have shut down in case of 'possible terrorist activities'. Sheesh.

[WileyKoyote]

Mmm, cheesesteaks.
Please don't tell me you subscribe to the theory of Cheeze Whiz on 'em. That's just wrong.
Look, you want the best cheesesteaks in Philly, get yourself up to Henry Street in Roxborough, and hit Chubby's or Delessandro's.

[QueenOfSpades]

Hi WileyKoyote, I love Chubby's but we didn't order it someone called it in and said we were paying for it.. sigh. We got some of the supplies sent over this afternoon.. The first event didn't go too well. Those pictures on CNN and Fox with Egyptian soldiers carrying off blankets, water and other supplies.. that was us. TV tells you where people were not where they are. We ended up getting the second set closer with a telepath who can see far distances.. she had a name for it.. but I can't remember it anymore. Anyway.. we got the second stuff near Nag Gharb something.. we are going to see if we can send more stuff over tomorrow.. but the teleporter, BlackFeather is pooped.. Debra has got her in one of the top rooms.

We got most everyone out of the yard.. a bunch of the Joker vets who couldn't make the trip are doing guard duty since we had some people try to loot it around sunset.

Bookwyrm, if you can find any info on the "The Highwayman" it would be appreciated.. its going to take them days to get to Egypt, and it doesn't look like there is going to be enough time for that. BlackFeather can't teleport blood, food or some medicines because the stuff doesn't survive the trip. She could teleport ammunition, but after that first mistake we don't want to send the Caliphs' men ammo.

I hope the interview went well. I need to go get Emily to sleep since Henry is outside cleaning.

[BlackBox]

Ok I am back and currently connected to the net. I am going to look around for what might be useful to slow down the Caliph's units.. they don't use a lot of high-tech stuff that would be useful to crash... I mean you can slow down a US calvary group with a couple of embedded server wipes.. but the best I can see at the moment is taking down cell units but they are doing that themselves.

The only suggestion that one of my brothers came up with was to take out the Caliph's and that Egyptian strongman's overshore bank accounts. Move the money to every charity and agency that's going to be cleaning up this mess if we can stop it. But the last guy I knew who tried that got 'visited' by their Bahir (or that's what we figured from the missing head and hand when he was found).

Well the overseas satellite is showing a bunch of 'heroic' soldiers finishing off some group of Jokers. I think dieing at the hands of Bahir if I can get even a million out of that son of a [bleep]'s hands.. will be worth it. First I am going to see if I can get some teleporters on the line. If they can just carry some guys over once and go away.. it could save someone.

[BlackBox]

Ok got info from Eddie. He is in Liberia near Sierra Leone.. near some places I do not like remembering...

Thanks to some people who knew some people who knew some people who knew Catalhoyuk's family they are going to be off again in the morning. Eddie says man thank you's sorry they didn't meet up with the main set of 'burkas' but the diesel fuel and coffee was most welcome... and the traders said that payment was already taken care of.

Sad news is that HappySpaceMan died on the last jog. I am guessing 1800 miles was too much for him to take 20 tons of material. Eddie says that Catalhoyuk's friends are taking care of getting him back to the states. Many many thanks. I have to contact his widow.

They are taking an old C-47 as far as it will take them. I think Radio Free Alicia caught up with them while we were talking on Sat phone.. there was a bunch of suprised guys and some lady calming them down. She hopefully can give them radar cover while they blow through a various countries.

I am going to see if I can get any intel to help the guys in Egypt.. hopefully post something to Hive's blog (if he can read it).

[Lisa]

Hey guys

My name is Lisa Endicott and I'm a grad student in marketing at Ann Arbor. I'm also Angie and Laurie[s roommate. They're trying to get some sleep now--Angie really really needs it. They wanted me to repeat the information about the jet once again on the board. It's alos on her web site ladyskunkworks.com.

I don't know what kind of jet it is, sorry. It looks pretty old, like back in the 70s. It's not very big but I dont think it matters. Angie says she knows a girl named Jessie van der Stat who can help us with the cargo issue.

Okay so Mr blackbox and Mr. Canalhouk (sorry about spelling) Angie wanted me to tell you guys about all the jokers and aces who are coming along. It seems kind of ironic for me, a marketing major to notice this, but should we be telling this stuff over the internet. Isn't that like spy secrets or something? I think you guys are military, right?

Well, I knew life with the Forrester sisters would never be dull, but this is a lot more frenetic than usual.

Thanks
Lisa Endicott
Ann Arbor, MI

[BookWyrm]

QoS;
Not much about The Highwayman is available, and I know, I've tried. BlackBox, if you read this, you may have better luck. What I did get was that this person did transportation-for-hire (a.k.a. smuggling) up until a few years back, after that dust-up in Jerusalem (the one about a group of terrorists calling themselves The Card Sharks, looking to wipe out everyone with the Wild Card & the Black Dog having a nuke(!)), then he simply vanished. He may be dead, retired or in deep hiding. Anything else is just unavailable.

The interview went well, the HR director liked me & the boss/owner seems sympathetic to Wild Cards. I should know what's what by next Wednesday.

[Radio Free Alicia]

Hey, guys, this is Radio Free Alicia. I got here about, oh, eight PM yesterday local time (would've been quicker, but Christ, have you ever tried traveling through a 28.8K connection? It's like swimming in roofing tar). Cat got in from New York this morning; he's currently on recon duty, walking about in local dress and asking the mosque if anyone's been talking about stirring up violence. No, he's not asking the imam, he's asking the actual mosque. I'd say it's weird, but hey, I'm fluent in dial-up.

I'm currently listening in on military frequencies -- and Lisa, you're right to be concerned. While I really don't think the Caliph and his buddies would think of checking American Hero for insurgency plans, there's always a chance of him finding it. That's why I'm currently tracking down the IPs of the computer intelligence for the Caliph and all his allies; any of them try to access this site, they'll be redirected to "2 Jokers 1 Cup" (just... don't try to Google it yourself, all right?). Hey, Cat, remember that time I went out to Hal Turner's happy funtime Nazi hour and hijacked his signal so that everyone tuning in heard "Bananaphone" on a repeated loop?

[BlackBox]

Hi Lisa, you are correct.. Eddie and I are formally military.. but what I saw is not always what I am doing or maybe it is. I may not be like that British magician guy, Noel Matthews, with my hands.. but on the net I can be a bit. I am not be the guy who took a couple million from a Caliphate Luxemburg bank account this morning(see BBC Europe link on that)... but they were watching me when it happened. Now they are going to look at someone else or maybe watch me still... or maybe send a teleporter with a sword to an empty telephone room in San Diego.

Hey Alicia, thanks for the tips when you dropped by earlier... and yes a 28.8k is a pain.

[Lisa]

Hey guys,

Lisa again. All I can tell you is Laurie and Angie and the people they recruited left around 8 AM, later than they wanted. One of the guys was like a redneck Conan the barbarian with a southern accent, and there was a badger-man with a huge cannon or something. In fact there were jokers like all the Wind In The Willows characters. I thought that was so weird. Mr. Blackbox do you know those guys from the military? I hope they can trust those guys.

I dont know where they are now or how far over the ocean they've gotten, but I know I'm worried sick. I hope my boyfriend will give me a xanax or something (Tom, turn your cell on, will you!)

-Lisa Endicott,
Ann Arbor

[BlackBox]

The Conan the barbarian character could be any Marine I ever met.. sorry Marine humour. The Wind in the Willows was popular with British Jokers I remember serving with.. but not much with Americans.. the only advice I can give is stand behind and to the left.. [law rockets fire a considerable backlash and are usually on the right shoulder.]

I hope they are good too, but you won't know until the bullets start flying.. We lost a lot of kids thinking that having super-strength meant they could stop a bullet... and live.

I remember that most of us older guys signed up after the Swarm invaded.. we had done what we could, but then we were back to being spat on Jokers. I am still thankful for Senator Hartmann for getting the new Joker's Brigade together even if if we just went to places the US didn't want to send regular troops to. I saw a lot of tragedy, but I know I saved people's lives when I could. Anyway.. I got to get back deep into the net. Later.

[BookWyrm]

BlackBox, if you can, keep us all appraised on what's going on. The media here's been so sanitized, I can taste the residue of soap.

[BlackBox]

BookWyrm,

Well I can say that I have been quite useful as a target while other people do the dirty work. Sorry for the delay in posting, I had to move to a new place because some teleporter found the last one a bit too close. It wasn't that Behir chap.. it was some new dude I never saw on any boards before. Spits fire too... hopefully there won't be another wild-fire outside of San Diego from that one... I would like to thank Private Wolf and PFC Snakehead for getting him to go away too. We are somewhere else now... and I am using a lot more hops before I post.

However, a rumour going around the net is that Caliph Abdul-Ahim is not squirreling any money in Luxembourg, Morocco or Switzerland anymore.. and a lot of starving kids should have some food if the oil prices don't keep going up. Sadly the Lichtenstein servers are protected by some Aces who did not see a reason for such moving of funds...

The last info on Sekhmet's Brigade (at least the guys here are calling it) was that they were in camp. Capt Gravel was talking about heading North and seeing if they could stop the group from hitting any more villages, then if possible continue to Egypt. Then I saw Eddie's post. He posted more than I would, but I guess he was pissed.. probably dead kids.. does it every time... I don't want to be the idiots who did it when he catches them.
Then we got a lot of static and thats all I have. I am guessing the Caliphate is a lot more sophisticated than people give them credit. They must have a bunch of satellite jammers in Arabia wide beamed over Africa or they have some Aces who can do that.. The satellites are still in orbit so its not the other possibility. If I get anything more I will post it.

[BookWyrm]

Thanks, BlackBox. You do yourself & your team credit. Keep an eye on Dino for all of us, please?