Peregrine: Your Hostess Speaks

Read :	Week Twelve Recap	Digger Verdict
	Harlem Hammer Verdict	Topper Verdict
	Peregrine Verdict

Peregrine: Your Hostess Speaks

The first of what promises to be many exciting seasons of American Hero is over and I can honestly say that it has been twelve weeks fraught with suspense and drama, comedy and tragedy, all played out in grand style before the eyes of millions of fascinated viewers.

Many wanted to be the American Hero. Few were called to battle for the honor. Only one was chosen. The final choice for American Hero was balanced on the razor-thin edge of fortune, fate, and circumstance. Jamal Norwood will acquit himself superbly in the year to come. He is handsome, intelligent, caring, and committed, and will set a high standard for those who follow in his footsteps. Wheat he does after his stint as American Hero ends is entirely up to him and certainly, on whatever road he takes he’ll walk with grace and dignity.

We started on the path to glory four months ago with over six hundred and fifty hopeful contestants who tried out in seven American cities. The competitors were of all races and ethnicities and of all social backgrounds. They came from the north, the south, the east, and the west. They were young and mature, already rich and always desperately poor. They were construction workers and students, rock stars and preacher men. The hopes of hundreds were dashed when the twenty-eight were chosen, but twenty-seven of the chosen twenty-eight were destined for disappointment as they fought their way through the crucible of competition.

The contestants were divided into teams and faced trial by fire as they tried to learn how to work with each other to achieve a common goal.  Some learned that lesson more easily than others. Those that didn’t were soon lost along the way. In the next weeks unexpected heroes rose to master the challenge. Few viewers, perhaps even few judges, expected much from eleven year old Dragon Huntress or the quiet and self-effacing Earth Witch, but real heroes arise when seemingly ordinary people face extraordinary circumstances with calmness, quick thinking, and fighting hearts, which is what both of these surprising heroines used to win the prize for their team. And perhaps find some confidence in themselves, as well.

The scavenger race whose only rule was “there are no rules,” taught our budding heroes the lesson of competition not against the elements, but with others who also desired the mantle of American Hero. The lesson learned that week was that those who want it the most are the ones who get it. The winner wasn’t the unfocused rock star who took time out from duty to sign autographs for his adoring fans. It was the hard-working, nose-to-the-grindstone champions who never took their eyes of the prize, not for a single second.

Our want-to-be heroes were not immune from the foibles of the real world. In perhaps the most controversial incident in the course of the series, one claimed a fellow contestant uttered a racial slur that no one else heard. Ultimately, this claim could never be proven or denied and it colored the proceedings for the rest of the season. Was Stuntman right or wrong in going public with his claim? Should he have handled the matter privately? The disturbance certainly changed some lives profoundly, possibly even the ultimate outcome of American Hero.

The teams started to hit their strides as the weeks passed more quickly than seemed possible. Everyone learned their teammates’ strengths and weaknesses, but also the personal sides of things became important as friendships, alliances, and cliques grew, all of which would factor into contestant discards from this point on. The stakes increased, the peril ratcheted up several notches, the excitement surged when it came time for our nascent heroes to battle other wild talents. Three aces — young Lohengrin from Germany, hulking Detroit Steel, and the ultimate veteran, Golden Boy, who over his seven decades has seen more combat in more places on this Earth than any other ace — along with the mysterious stage magician Noel Matthews, confronted the now thinned ranks of our young heroes. The veterans, as so often is the case, largely proved to be too much for the neophytes.

But again, the real world intruded into our unfolding drama, first, in an earthquake that struck the mansion housing the Discard Pile, second, in an earthquake of the human spirit, when a group of Discards heard another voice calling them from halfway across the world. A catastrophe of epic proportions drew them to Egypt, where they proved themselves real heroes as they went to the battlefields of a foreign land to protect the poor and weak. Three of them paid the ultimate sacrifice and laid down their lives for their brethren. All now carry scars and horrific memories that have changed them forever. Those that are gone will never be forgotten.Their stories will be told on American Hero — Special International Edition, which will air later this fall. This will be a very special two-hour event ,not to be missed.

Like any new enterprise, some mistakes were made in this first season of American Hero. We can’t do much about natural disasters and unexpected social upheavals, but some things we can correct. We received a certain amount of unfounded criticism for putting a minor in needless peril, but rest assured that cute little Dragon Huntress was never in any real danger. However, taking the concerns of our audience to heart, next season we will institute an age limit of eighteen, ensuring the safety of America’s child aces.

Other viewers were concerned about a certain lack of morality exhibited by some contestants. Rest assured that we at American Hero do not approve of such behavior, and it has always been and will remain our policy to document such behavior only to place it in the context of show continuity, so that viewers can fully understand the complex web of inter-relationships that come into play when discard decisions are made.

Other viewers were somewhat upset by the lack of jokers on the show. Committed as we are to exhibiting the great diversity of our wonderful wild card society, are talent scouts are even now combing America to find those special contestants who can hold their own against anyone and compete confidently in the next great season of American Hero.

We all learned something from this season of American Hero, contestants, judges, and producers alike.  Drummer Boy learned that it’s easier to be a rock star than a hero. Cleopatra learned that charm, like beauty, is only skin deep. Any number of contestants learned that diamonds, or at least one particular diamond, aren’t necessarily a girl’s best friend. I learned that insurance doesn’t cover “damage to property caused by insects, vermin, or aces.”

Rest assured that we’ll take our hard-won knowledge and apply it to the next season, making it even bigger, more exciting, and more heroic for you, our viewers.

Our researches are already crisscrossing the country to bring you the most colorful, the most amazing, the most scintillating aces ever to grace a television screen. Look for them in your city or town and please join us in the fall for the second great season of American Hero!

A Judge’s Verdict : Melissa Blackwood aka Topper

Read :	Week Twelve Recap	Digger Verdict
	Harlem Hammer Verdict	Topper Verdict
Coming up :	Peregrine Verdict

A Judge’s Verdict: Melissa Blackwood aka Topper

I’m not exactly sure why I even agreed to be a judge on American Hero. I’d never even seen a reality television show when the producers approached me. But I knew Peregrine and respected her. She’s had to balance the triple threat of being a victim of the Wild Card, being a great beauty, and being a woman. It makes it very hard to be taken seriously. Knowing Peregrine helped me make the decision, but really what decided it for me was the kids.

When my card turned I was nineteen years old. It was the trauma of a car wreck while I was at college  that triggered the virus, and ended my dreams of a brilliant career in ballet. So, now I was an ex-ballarina and an ace, and the world doesn’t offer you a lot of guidance. In fact, no guidance.

 

I bounced from career to career — SCARE agent, private detective after I got sick of government work. I finally opened my own firm working for one of Jokertown’s foremost defense attorneys. And now American Hero.

There is a point to all this personal history. Here it is. Aces have enormous power and no support system. There are no schools for precocious demi-gods, no guidance counselors. No heroes to look up to — they either die like Fortunato, or worse, just disappear like Dr.Tachyon. We don’t teach them how to use their powers, or how to be heroes, whatever that means.

Do I know what it means to be a hero? Not really, no. We’ve never had the discussion. We all just kept on being the people we were before we got infected with the wild card.

So, when Peregrine approached me and told me the title of the show I was intrigued. I thought we had a real chance here.

Of course it turned out to be fool’s gold. because beneath all the tinsel of Hollywood we found — more tinsel. Yet despite our best efforts to trivialize this process some of the kids didn’t let it happen. They began the conversation.

What do I mean by that? Well, think about it. We brought together a large group of aces and joker/aces. They got to know each other, and some of them went beyond who was sleeping with who, and who played the metagame better, and who was a prick. They began to have those discussions about heroism. They considered that maybe they were supposed to do more with these powers then just get a date or make money. That the universe might demand that they use these powers responsibly.

And some of them went over to Egypt and defended people who were powerless and despised. It started with a game show that was the very definition of fake. It ended with lives saved and lives lost, and it doesn’t get any more real than that.

This isn’t what you want? You want me to talk about how Digger Downs is a prick, and the Harlem Hammer is clueless? Sorry, not going to play that game.

Okay, I’ll give you this much. Because this is Hollywood I think a lot of woman got picked because they were pretty, and not because they had a kick ass power. Curveball, Earth Witch and Bubbles had potent abilities, and Gardener could have her uses in select circumstances... but a girl who turns into a diamond? A girl who can float like dandelion fluff? A girl who can go really fast on roller skates? Please. These aren’t powers, they’re conversation starters.

Digger accuses me of playing gender politics. Maybe I did go easier on them, because I felt sorry for many of them. They shouldn’t have been invited to the dance. Many of them were no more than deuces. After what those kids did in Egypt I think we’ve got to think a lot more seriously about the kind of people we recruit. They can make a difference, so we ought to pick the best and train them to the best of our abilities.

I know I keep coming back to Egypt, but that’s what matters. Why should anybody care if I think the right person “won."

But okay, I’ll answer the question. I’ll tell you who “won.” Curveball, Earth Witch, Bubbles, Rustbelt, Drummer Boy, Holy Roller, Simoon, King Cobalt, John Fortune, Bugsy, Hardhat, and all the Egyptian jokers who fought alongside the aces, they were the winners. They won a chance to make their lives meaningful.

That’s a prize worth having.

A Judge’s Verdict: Mordecai Albert Jones aka Harlem Hammer

Read :	Week Twelve Recap	Digger Verdict
	Harlem Hammer Verdict
Coming up :	Topper Verdict	Peregrine Verdict

A Judge’s Verdict: Mordecai Albert Jones aka Harlem Hammer

I’d be lying if I said I totally regretted letting myself getting talked into doing this. But I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t have any regrets.

In a lot of ways, it was fun. It’s an odd thing for somebody who’s spent his life trying to avoid the spotlight to let himself get recruited to be a judge on a national television show. I was told it would be an opportunity to help young people get a handle on these talents and abilities they had, learn to use them responsibly. That’s an important thing, something worth doing.

I also notice that aspect was pretty distinctly downplayed, if it got played at all. I may be missing something but only little Dragon Huntress seemed to get that part of it, from reading the commentaries. Still, I think we saw it happen. I’m good with that aspect of things.

We didn’t have that much influence over who won what, even though we were called judges. That may not have been such a bad thing. I’ve known Digger Downs for years, and I have to say time’s neither mellowed nor improved him. Seemed to me sometimes he took way too much pleasure in crushing the dreams of young people. Topper’s a nice lady but really did seem to favor the women a bit much in the competition. And I heard a couple of our young male contestants refer to Peregrine as a cougar. Got no idea what’s up with that. Still and all I don’t think our quirks and limitations as judges interfered too badly with anybody’s chances.

Not sure why some of our contestants got picked in the first place. Like that one young woman, Tiffani. Child couldn’t actually do much. I got the feeling one or two got set up just so they could get knocked down.Poor Diver’s ace was just too specialized for the show, though if she went into, like, marine biology or ocean rescue, she’d be a superstar. But then who’d imagine somebody with talents like Gardener’s or Earth Witch’s could actually turn them to advantage? I guess that’s one of the good things about the show, us getting to see how even some seemingly unimpressive abilities could prove to be seriously useful. And of course giving these kids a chance to find out for themselves.

And who’d ever guess that the little girl with the stuffed toys could hang in there so long? But then she had some serious powers. And she also seemed to have a lot on the ball.

I have to admit I was saddened not to see Ms. Mok go all the way. She is an upstanding young woman. She should go far next time. My best wishes go out to her.

As for how it all turned out – well, I have to congratulate Stuntman. He’s a young man with some genuine abilities, some genuine promise. He won fair and square, according to the rules. But I have to say I’m left with a bad feeling in my mouth. My whole life I’ve been against racism, but then I’ve gone and been against black racism as well as white. And folks don’t seem to want to hear that. Stuntman played the race card. I don’t see that’s a good thing. Maybe it was an honest mistake. But I also got to know that other young man, Rustbelt. He may not be the sharpest tool in the chest, but if there’s any malice in him it’s beyond me to see it.

Is always talking about race really doing black people any good? If we still have a problem with racism in this country – and we do, although anybody who says things aren’t a whole lot better than they were twenty, thirty, forty years ago is not telling the truth, whether through ignorance or something worse – doesn’t that maybe mean we don’t want to keep doing the same old things? only harder and costing a whole lot more money? And how does it help to bridge the racial divide if we go bringing race into each and every discussion, anyway?

Way too many people go quoting maybe the single greatest thing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ever said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” And then they turn right around and try to make everything be about skin color? Who does that help?

Actually I have a pretty good idea who it does help. But I’ve shot off my mouth enough. And I don’t want to go offending any of our sponsors or anything.

And while I’m busy making right-thinking folks everywhere mad at me. I’m not going to join the chorus of approval about this whole Egypt thing, either. We’re told these ace kids are going to fight some atrocities; they’re told that too. I surely don’t blame them for their idealism and enthusiasm. But maybe they should look a little deeper than just the emotions whipped up by the media and the politicians. Isn’t that part of using their power responsibly? Because what it looks to me like we really got is Westerners going over to beat some more dark-skinned Third World people – for their own good, of course. Maybe they’ll save some innocent people from getting hurt. That’s good. How many innocents are going to get hurt, though, as a result of their actions? So to those kids over there, I got to say: along with asking yourselves if maybe what you’re really doing is help exploit Third World people, maybe you might also ask, are you letting yourselves be exploited, too?

Of course, I don’t worry anybody’ll pay attention to anything I say. I doubt they’ll even bother to censor this or refuse to broadcast it. I’m just a crazy old black dude who won’t get with the program. Dissent’s freely allowed in this country – so long as you go along with the ninety, ninety-five percent where the supposedly opposing factions totally agree with each other.

Like I say, there’s reasons I’ve tried to stay out of the spotlight.

But like I also said, being with the show’s had its rewards. Made some good new friends. Seen some good kids get some kind of start in leading responsible, useful, rewarding lives. And maybe helped people see those of us who’re touched with the wild cards as real people and not just as freaks  because yes, that kind of bigotry still goes on, too. Sure, in the course of the show you’ve seen a lot of us aces and jokers acting venal or back-stabbing or self-centered or just being fools. Just like you and your mom and sister and everybody else.

Meanwhile, it’s gonna be a real relief to me to get back to Harlem and the shop, and not have to address problems much weightier than Lefty forgetting to order in more motor oil, or Muhammad forgetting to clean his tools before putting them back in the chest.

Hope y’all enjoyed the show. And I hope some good comes of it for everybody concerned.

A Judge’s Verdict : Thomas “Digger” Downs

Read :	Week Twelve Recap	Digger Verdict
Coming up :	Harlem Hammer Verdict	Topper Verdict
	Peregrine Verdict

A Judge’s Verdict : Thomas “Digger” Downs

So now Stuntman is the first American Hero. Hurrah, mate.

Here’s the real dirt from your old pal, Digger.

I didn’t see that coming. Even at the last I was thinking Rosa had it, but there’s no predicting the fancies of the American voting public.

If Curveball had stuck with it, she would have been a shoo-in. She had it all. Looks, a really useful power, a ‘good girl’ personality that projected itself on screen; it was all there. But she left to play hero in Egypt instead. Too bad.

Kate will be one of the big aces. One of the ones you hear about for years. Even when this whole UN thing blows over she’ll probably be doing the ace thing for some cause or other. She’s that kind of girl. And she’ll do the good she does because of one thing, and it wasn’t because she helped the joker gods of Egypt.

Nope, the big thing she did was be on American Hero. Most of America knows who she is now. She and Drummer Boy and Rustbelt and Bubbles are important because they were on American Hero. If it wasn’t for the program, they would never have gotten together to go to Egypt. Even if they had gone to Egypt on their own, they would have been ground up piecemeal by the Caliph’s forces. We taught them teamwork. We taught them how to really use their powers.

So do I think Kate should have been the American Hero? She wasn’t any of our first pick. I liked Brave Hawk, but the man is an asshole. He was always trying to stir things up and always by saying “Me too.” I don’t think he ever had an original thought.

Topper was all over the place. As long as the contestant was female, our girl Topper liked them. I sat through so many tirades about how Curveball or Rosa or Bubbles or Earth Witch or Simoon, or Dragon Huntress -- or Gardener, for Christ sake -- was the obvious winner, I’m glad a guy won – even if it is an arrogant dipstick like Stuntman.

Hammer liked Jade Blossom. I can’t fault that; the girl had potential. She never knew how to use it, though. Seems like the best thing she did was anchor a fire hose. There’s so much more she could have done with her powers, but they never seemed to occur to her.

I think maybe Stuntman won because the viewers liked watching him get munched up. He sure provided a lot of blood and bone for the ghouls, even if we did clean up a lot of it in post-production. I hear the producers are happy to have Stuntman as winner because they can put out a Stuntman DVD with all of the damage he took in unexpurgated color. Ain’t technology grand?

Probably the most inventive user of power was the Candle. You could tell he put a lot of thought into what he could do with his firepower. He’s a nice guy; finished a lot better than most nice guys. Bad luck we put him on the Black team.

And then there were the not-so-nice guys. Generally there’s room for one bad boy, as long as he’s redeemable. That one came down to a dogfight between Drummer Boy and Stuntman. The real bastards were Spasm and Joe Twitch. Thinking about it, I don’t think either one ever got laid the entire show. Even Cleo and some of the more desperate PAs weren’t interested.

On the other hand, every woman in the show, in front and behind the camera had a reason to hate Wild Fox, and I understand he had to keep a “Who’s stayin’ over tonight” schedule on his PDA. The wonders of illusion, eh? You know, if his illusions had just been visible to the camera, he probably would have gone a lot further. He’s amazing.

Rev Wintergreen is a professional nice guy, of course. He’s only a so-so ace but quite an organizer. I’m glad he made it out of Egypt. I just hope the UN doesn’t get him killed.

But who should have been the American Hero? Are you really asking me? We judges didn’t have much to say about this contest. We chose the teams, with a LOT of help from the PR folk. We figured out what team won, but there was never a real debate. One team was always clearly superior.

And the teams figured out who got voted off – we had nothing to do with that. We were mostly there to supervise them. More like housemothers than judges. When it got down to the finals, it was the great American people who voted. We just counted the votes.

Okay, a bunch of PAs counted the votes, but we supervised.

How did we set up the teams? It had a lot more to do with image than compatibility, let me tell you. Each team had a flyer of some sort, but each one had to have at least two hot babes. Each had a really weird one, like Toad Man, or Dragon Huntress, or Matroshkya, or Drummer Boy. Each had a heavy hitter, like Earth Witch or Bubbles or Rustbelt or Jade Blossom. And then we filled out the teams with exotic powers like Twitch or Candle or Cleo or Gardener or Hive. Some of them came out just right; some never lived up to their potential as we saw it. We learned a lot this time around.

Oh yeah, and of course we spread the minorities out amongst the teams. Except for Stuntman’s little gambit, this never much came up, actually. Probably just as well.

I would have liked Jetman to win. It would have been appropriate somehow. But no one respects the gadgeteers. I’m also surprised how long he lasted, all things considered. Bubbles would have been a good one, too. That girl is a real ace. She has all the right motivations and she knows how to use her powers. But keeping her supermodel past life a secret and being gay was a one-two punch. American doesn’t like secretive heroes. At least they don’t like secrets they don’t know every detail of.

Brave Hawk looks like a hero, but I’ve already talked about him.

Rustbelt would have been good. If Stuntman hadn’t sabotaged him, he might have gone far. So he went to Egypt instead.

Egypt. You know, I really wonder who decided to bring those bastards into the Hague just when they did. Curveball? Johnny Fortune? Maybe Drummer Boy? Or Jonathan Hive?

It was no coincidence they did it when they did. They knew what time it was, they knew what was going on. So all the also-rans decided to get in a little dig at the show that brought them together and showed them how to be a team.

You know, this whole Justice Society of theirs is going to fall apart as soon as everyone takes a deep breath and looks around for something a whole gang of aces need to do. Not likely to find anything. The Astronomer is dead. There are no alien spaceships, or spores, in the sky, and the Rox is just Ellis Island again. That’s why aces get together, into one hand, you might say. There’s no need for a bunch of aces to just sit around and tell each other how great they are. The whole cluster[bleep] gang, will dissolve into a mob and go running off to the four corners of the world in no time.

So who’s my personal pick for American Hero? Which contestant on the show should have gotten the title? Like I said, I’m just a judge. I don’t have any real say. But my vote goes to someone who got booted the first time out.

Jonathan Hive is the real American hero. He took on a sure-sudden-death and used the power of the press to turn the situation around. That’s the American way, for my money. He just used the fact he got dealt an ace to get into position to be a hero. He didn’t need to turn into wasps. He just needed ten working fingers.

So now the show has been picked up for another season, and I’m told the Powers That Be like my “acerbic wit,” so I’ll be back to bring my style of reality to the proceedings. I’m looking forward to it. By the time we’re into next year’s finals, the Committee will be yesterday’s old news.

Week 12: How the Cards Fall

Week Twelve Recap : The American Hero

American Hero began on a somber note this week.  Events on the other side of the world have brought home just how urgently selfless heroism is needed in the world — and what cost such heroism sometimes exacts.  We recognize some of our former contestants who have made the ultimate sacrifice during the recent conflict in Egypt.  Simoon, King Cobalt, and Hardhat will never be forgotten by fans of this show.  Let us all remember with pride the good that they accomplished in their all-too short lives.

Back in Hollywood, the excitement was almost too much to take as Rosa Loteria and Stuntman faced their final challenge.  Both aces were picked up early and escorted to Carpenter Avenue School where they appeared before a cheering crowd of school children.  One of the jobs of a hero is to be a role-model to children like this, and Rosa and Jamal got a taste of what that's like.  They also had their stamina tested as they signed autographs for hundreds of kids!

Stuntman told the audience of eager children what he thinks it means to be a hero:  "What we've all shown is that it doesn't matter where you came from or what you can do.  It's about how hard you try.  It's about taking risks to do what's right.  That makes you a hero."  Rosa had her own take:  "You have to stand up for yourself, and you have to stand up for people who can't stand up for themselves.  You have to protect other people, look out for your friends and family.  If you got the power to do that, then that's what you got to do."

The aces' next stop was the Los Angeles Police Department training academy, where they went through the obstacle course and hand-to-hand combat training with the rest of the rookies.  What would it be like for our heroes to work with law enforcement?  That was what Stuntman and Rosa demonstrated here, and both of them showed the talent and courage that got them through eleven weeks of competition to this point, leaping to each new challenge without batting an eye.  Rosa's luck was with her as she seemed to draw just the right card for each situation, from leading a squad of rookies to soundly defeating the academy's martial arts instructor.  Stuntman endured cringe-inducing blows that would have destroyed any but the strongest aces in the world.  He has more than proven himself worthy of joining their ranks.

The last obstacle on this final day of challenges might have been called "Grace Under Pressure."  Because all that was left for them to face were the judges, the final vote, and all of America in a live broadcast in which the whole world had a chance to vote.

The final votes were cast by you, the TV audience, via text message.  But that wasn't all, of course — the Discards had their say as well, and their inside knowledge of what it takes to be a hero and of these two aces in particular meant their votes held extra weight — and counted for a thousand viewer votes each.  Replays of the previous eleven weeks of challenges played on screens before the studio audience to remind us of where these aces have been, and what they've done.  Throughout it all, Rosa Loteria and Stuntman waited on stage for the results.  And it must be said that they both withstood the stress with heroic calm.  At last, the votes were tallied, the scores computed, and Peregrine took the stage to announce the winner:  Jamal Norwood, Stuntman!

Amidst the cheering of the audience, Jamal was so astonished he didn't seem to understand that he had won until Rosa hugged him, like the good sport she is.  The audience erupted with celebration as Stuntman's former teammates and rivals joined him to wish him congratulations.  Jamal had this to say about his victory.  "I couldn't have done this alone.  All of my teammates, everyone who challenged me, everyone who went to Egypt — we're all heroes, every one of us," he said.

And that says it all.

There you have it:  Stuntman is the new American Hero!

Keep on the look out for this week's verdicts:
Digger	Harlem Hammer	Topper	Peregrine

Confessional : Andrew Yamauchi aka Wild Fox

Read :	Week Eleven Recap	Gardener Confessional
	Jetman Confessional	Rosa Loteria Confessional
	Wild Fox Confessional

Confessional : Andrew Yamauchi aka Wild Fox

That was cool. Totally cool.

The big question around here has always been, how are they going to bring us Discards back? You know that's how these shows work. They sure weren't keeping us all fed and boozed because they liked us. No, I knew there had to be some big finish.

But you know what I thought it was going to be? I thought the last challenge — you know, when it's just down to two people and they have to decide the winner — I was really hoping it would be them against us. That's right — all twenty whatever of us against them. Epic combat. Sweet revenge. 'Cause we would have totally kicked their asses. Seriously cool.

But I was okay with how it went down. Getting to look those guys in the eyes, them knowing that we all controlled their fates. You could see it, they actually regretted every single time they were jerks to any of us.

Why did I vote off Stuntman? The real reason? 'Cause I wanted to see a catfight in the finish. Hot girl-on-girl action. Bam! And it's not like there was any way Curveball wasn't going to win the whole ballgame.

Except she left. She just left. What's up with that? So there's some bad [bleep] going on in Egypt. There's also bad [bleep] going on in Africa, Central America, the Philippines, Indonesia — not to mention L.A.It's not like you have to go looking for problems to solve. So what makes her think she can solve any of them? What can anybody do in a [bleep]hole like that?

Personally, I think it's hormones. She's totally been chasing after John Fortune since like Week 3. It's made her lose her mind. She's going to wake up a week from now and totally kick herself for giving up the million dollars.

I'm staying right here in the Discard Pile. It's an endless party. Except for the people moping around like losers. I mean, yeah, okay, we are losers. But are we really? See, I don't think so. We made it this far, right? Not everyone can win, and let's face it, most of us only got on the show because some network dude thought we looked hot or would be funny or something.

It's not like any of this is real. We've got a fridge full of beer and pizza — I'm totally there. I feel like a winner. The fact that I made it as far as I did makes me kind of a celebrity around here, you know?

Okay, not really. But I refuse to be all down and out about it. I'm not going to bring everyone else down. In fact — and I got a lot of practice doing this in high school so I know it works — I think I'm the total life of the party. A few celebrity impressions, a ten-eyed squid peeking out of somebody's margarita — brings down the house every single time. I'm in my element here.

I've been watching the dailies from the show. Those so-called winners? Do they look like they're having any fun? Not even a little bit. When was the last time you saw Stuntman smile? Seriously? Has that dude ever smiled?

Actually, the place is kind of lonely since half the people here left for Egypt. I hate to admit it, but I'm going to be kind of sad to see all this end. I mean, it's a great party here at the Discard Pile.

I kind of got the best of both worlds — I made it halfway through the competition before I got kicked off. So I haven't been here since the start, not long enough to get totally sick of it, anyway. I got to show my stuff. I was in it long enough for people to get to know me. I have fans. Can't say that about Joe Twitch, can you?

Some people think that the show's prejudiced against jokers. That they only want pretty people and jokers, let's face it, just aren't pretty.

But hey, you know what I say to that? Being a joker's what you make of it. I mean, Peregrine's a joker. Hasn't held her back at all. DB and Joker Plague have made a cottage industry of being jokers. Me — I wouldn't want to be any other way, you know? People are always going to know me because of this. [Holds up tail.]

In fact, and I probably shouldn't be talking about this until it's a done deal, but there's this game show in Japan. One of those crazy stunt things with people jumping through hoops and landing in mud while working math problems, or chicks in bikinis on mechanical bulls throwing cream pies at each other. That kind of thing. And they need a host. And they want me. Can you believe it?

It just goes to show you, everybody's got a niche. Everybody's got a place in the world. You just have to put yourself out there and find it.

I love American Hero. I love the Discard Pile. And I love you, man. [Points to the camera and winks.] How about that for Mr. Japanese Game Show?

Confessional: Guadelupe Maria del Rosario Garza aka Rosa Loteria

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	Jetman Confessional	Rosa Loteria Confessional
Coming Up :	Wild Fox Confessional

Confessional: Guadelupe Maria del Rosario Garza aka Rosa Loteria

Hey America! Rosa again.

There’s...okay, so much stuff’s happened. Mr. Berman said I should just start at the beginning and they’d cut what they need to, so here goes....

It’s a whole lot of getting picked.

Yeah, I know, I pick cards all the time. But I don’t shuffle through my deck face up and go Ooh, okay, her. I could use this one. I mean yeah, I do that, but that’s just strategy, that’s not how my power works. When I pick a card, I pick blind, and just deal with what I get.

Other people, it’s different. Like back when DB asked me out. Other girls are going Oh no, he’s a player and Cleo’s all Boo hoo! He used me and threw me away! Along with some nice bling, I might add. But hey, he’s hot, he’s rich, he’s popular, and he picked me. We had a good time. Part of why we had a good time was because I didn’t have any expectations. I’m not some telenovela Ugly Betty thinking just because she gets a date with a Takisian Prince, he’s gonna whisk her away to his castle beyond the stars. I’m Rosa Loteria, I’m an ace, and while I kind of like DB, I’m not gonna follow him around and be the chick with the tambourine.

But hey, sometimes it’s nice to get picked.

Curveball and Stuntman did the same with me last week, and it’s not hard to see why. She’s Ms. Offense, he’s Mr. Defense, and they needed someone who could do everything they couldn’t do if they just bought her some time. And hey, they picked right because we won.

Block party with my family? Best thing ever. Got to see people I hadn’t seen since my Quinceañera, ’cause you gotta remember, that’s when I turned my card, and I walked out halfway through the party. Bootsie–that’s my nickname for La Bota–she walked me all the way to Cleveland before I drew another card, and I had a heck of a time getting back. But American Hero gave me the rest of my party, letting me come of age not just as a woman, but as an ace.

Of course we also won the chance to go up against each other, except this week’s challenge was crap. We were supposed to be fighting a bunch of terrorists, but they’re the lamest terrorists on the planet. Any of the gangs in LA could eat them for breakfast.

First we had to fight our way through a bunch of stuntmen. Fair enough except it’s not. Jamal? He’s invulnerable. They can use real ammo on him and it won’t make any difference, so they did, but they were dumb. Real terrorists would have shot him in the eyes and blinded him like they did Tiffani a few weeks ago with the paintballs, or used a net or bolas, or chopped him up with a machete and put him in different dumpsters. But these were special ed terrorists.

Then Kate goes out with a bag of Nerfballs instead of marbles and her stuntmen have paintballs instead of bullets. Fair enough. Except, you know, added bonus for Curveball, Nerfballs are bigger than marbles so she has a lot easier time blocking the paintballs.

Then there’s me, and I’ll admit I pitched a fit, ’cause this loteria deck is a family heirloom, and at the fiesta, I promised mi abuelita I’m not going to let any damn paintballs near it. So Mr. Berman says fine, he calls wardrobe and they hook us up with a lasertag rig, and that would be great except they still don’t know what cards I’m going to pick and neither do I.

So I shuffle the deck and pull out Las Cerises, ‘The Cherries.’ If these had been real terrorists, they would have been hosed. Mr. Berman is all, “What the hell is a chick in a red dress and a Minnie Pearl hat going to do?” I never heard of this puta Minnie Pearl. But I bet even if she had a straw hat with cherries on it, she couldn’t pull off a handful and have the stems light with the other sort of cherries, you know, the type you get on cigarettes.

And fuses.

I toss a bunch under some random prop crate and blow the hell out of it, and he’s all “Cherry bombs? You make cherry bombs? Do we have any prop cherries? We don’t have the demolitions expert on payroll today!” and he runs around until Cherry gets bored.

So fine, whatever. I go back to the deck and pull La Rana, ‘The Frog,’ and one of the grips goes “Look! Buford’s got a date!” and everyone starts laughing.

Hello America, did you notice the colors? I was a poison frog lady. But no way do the stuntmen want to deal with real poison, so La Rana goes back in the deck and I shuffle again.

I pull El Valiente and he calls, “Okay, any of you Hollywood pendejos have a fake knife?” and at least they have that. So he goes through the stupid gauntlet and stabs all the terrorists except the last couple. Then I’m told it’s not ‘heroic’ for El Valiente to tie up the stuntmen with his serape and hold a prop dagger to their throats until they tell him where the bomb is, ’cause they say terrorists always lie, and torture never works, and this is a family show.

Isn’t this the same network that produces 24?

Whatever. The next challenge is an obstacle course. El Valiente does fine until there are three doors with some crap written on them. They were supposed to be riddles, but here’s a riddle for America: If you were a terrorist, would it be a good idea to write crap on a door so idiots would stand there and read it while your sniper draws a bead on them?

Props to Curveball, she was thinking the same thing. She blew the hell out of those doors with her marbles, so she was quicker to find the lame maze than I was, just kicking doors down. But I mapped out the whole place in case there was something important somewhere, because, you know, if terrorists always lie, couldn’t the point of the riddle be to make us waste our time thinking about math problems instead of actually rescuing hostages?

So anyway, I finally find the hostage, and at this point I’ve pretty much given up thinking these terrorists might be smart, so the hostage can’t be a terrorist telling me crap to screw with me, and the terrorists were too stupid to just kill someone who knows where their bomb is too.

El Valiente doesn’t want to deal with any more of this crap, so when we get to the corridor with the booby traps–you know, like the stupid riddle doors could have had–I draw again and pull El Diablito. She’s a blue devil girl with a lightning bolt pitchfork, and she’s lightning quick, so I get to the bomb just in time to have it blow paint in my face.

If I hadn’t had my deck in my pocket, Mr. Berman would have needed a new ass.

So anyway, Curveball and I are both pissed, and Jamal’s sitting pretty because he thinks he’s going to get the immunity and he’s going to get to pick which of us to boot, and I get ready to kiss my ass goodbye because there’s nothing Curveball can do to hurt him, so he’d be stupid not to pick her. Then the judges give a twist – no immunity, everyone’s necks are on the chopping block, and it’s going to be the Discards are going to decide who goes.

I didn’t think Curveball would get cut. I mean, I’m not saying she’s Miss Congeniality, but there’s not much there to hate. Kate’s got a respectable power, but it’s not so kick-ass that it scares people, and it’s not something that makes them laugh either. Me? I do both, sometimes at the same time. If you get your ass handed to you by a chick in a baseball cap, you can still respect yourself in the morning. But a chick in a straw hat with exploding cherries? You’re hating life, and that doesn’t win me any popularity contests. Of course Jamal had that crap with Rusty, and if you’re indestructible, it makes you look like a whiner at best. That doesn’t win you any popularity contests either.

Next thing Tiffani’s in front of me, smirking, and she says, “I said I’d pay good money to see you under a bus.” I wanted to slap her, but I knew she’d just turn to diamond, so I said, “Yeah? Well people are going to be paying to see you under a donkey in Tijuana, puta.”

I think Wild Fox did an illusion of himself as the bassist from Joker Plague, the one who isn’t the devil dude. And I was going over to talk to Spasm, who I like, and didn’t vote against me. Then suddenly Rusty clanks around and says he’s going to Egypt to save the jokers and what the hell?

They’re going to get killed. It’s a gang war! And I know, ’cause I’ve been in them! Except those pendejos in Arabia are way more serious about it than they are in East LA, ’cause they’ve been doin’ it for centuries and they’re completely loco.

Rusty I can kind of understand. He’s a joker. They’re jokers. But he’s built like a tank and can rust tanks. And Simoon, some of those people are her family, and hey, I understand family. But the rest of them? Bubbles and Ana and Holy Roller and Hardhat and even King Cobalt? I don’t care how strong you are, you can’t wrestle an army! They all up and leave. At least they have the sense to leave Rachel behind. And then I’m crying, because I promised mi abuelita I was through with gangs, and gang wars, and I was going to Hollywood to be a reality television star and I was going to win a million dollars and no one would have to die. No one.

Then those pendejos in Egypt had to start a war.

Damn them. Damn them all to hell....

Confessional : Howard Hawkwood aka Jetman

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	Jetman Confessional
Coming Up :	Rosa Loteria Confessional	Wild Fox Confessional

Confessional : Howard Hawkwood aka Jetman

The Discard House has grown very quiet.

I am not complaining, mind you.  I welcome  the quiet.   I can actually hear myself think.   We no longer have Reverend Wintergreen insisting that we say grace every time we send out for a pizza (which I don’t do very often, the pizza out here is terrible).  I don’t have to fight King Cobalt over the remote any more (he tried to put on some moronic Mexican wrestling show right in the middle of a rerun of Thirty Minutes Over Broadway, the classic Howard Hawks version, not the stupid remake with Dudley Moore).   No more steel wool pads left in the sink after Rustbelt scrubs the spots off his elbows, and no more of Hardhat’s filthy language (his mother should have washed his mouth out with soap, that’s what my mother says).

And we still have a good crowd when we gather around the dinner table.  Joe Twitch grows more annoying every day, and I have grown  a little tired of Wild Fox and Spasm with their stupid pranks, but the rest are nice enough.  Diver misses the swimming pool, of course, but she and Gardener are both nice ladies, Jade Blossom is very beautiful, and Blrr is always giddy and girly and full of fun.  She  is all a-twitter about this sitcom pilot that’s being developed for her, Who’s That Grrl?  She even offered to give me a guest star role, as a dotty inventor who sells her a pair of jet-powered skates.  I’m no actor, though, so I said thanks, but no thanks.

I do miss Bubbles.   She’s a good woman, bright and friendly, and always cheerful and kind.   Earth Witch seems pleasant too, though she started as a Heart while I was on the Diamonds, so I never knew her well.   I wish them well in Egypt.  I wish all of them well, even the ones I did not especially like.  I think they made a hasty decision, and one that they will regret, but I know they wanted to do good.

It was quite a scene here with half the house rushing about and packing and the rest of us arguing with them and telling them they were idiots.  Well, I didn’t do that, personally, but Tiffani wasn’t shy with her opinion, and neither was Joe Twitch.  Gardener just got quiet, Jade thought they were all funny, and Buford tried to phone his uncle in the Everglades to ask if he should go along.  And Rachel… well, she got so angry when Bubbles said she couldn’t come with them that Diver had to hide her bag of stuffed animals.  All very exciting for the audience at home, I’m sure.

We’ve had too much excitement this last week, if you ask me.  The big vote, and half the discards running off to Egypt, and of course  the earthquake.   We don’t have earthquakes in Philadelphia, and I can’t say I like them much.  I thought it was a freight train rolling through the living room.  Half the dishes in the drainer jumped onto the floor and shattered, though I’ve put them back together good as new with some glue I made with toothpaste and pineapple juice, zapped in the microwave.  My jetpack fell off the hook and bounced off my shoulder too.  I still have a bruise when it struck me, but I’m pleased to say it still works fine.

Some of the others got a few bruises as well, but no one was badly hurt.   We could easily have been been killed, as mother pointed out when she finally got through to me on the phone.  She was almost in tears, she was so pleased to hear my voice.  This has been the longest we have ever been apart.

But there’s only one more week, and we can all go home.  I can’t say that I will be sad to see the last of Los Angeles.    The show was certainly an experience and I met a number of interesting people.  Not all of them were as pleasant as I might have wished, however, and very few of them were as smart as they thought they were… especially the ones who went running off to Egypt.

We all signed contracts with the production company when we were chosen for the show, and the language was quite plain.  We were to stay until the end of filming.  All those who left without authorization are in breach.  They have certainly forfeited their per diem and the generous gifts that they were to receive at the wrap party, and if what I am hearing from the crew is true, the network is going to sue every one of them.  Bad enough that they broke their contracts, but I’ve also heard that Rustbelt destroyed Mr. Berman’s car.I would not have thought that Wally would be so wantonly destructive.  Perhaps what Stuntman said about him was true after all.

I understand why Rustbelt  would want to Egypt, I suppose.  He needed to do something to take the tarnish off his name.  And Simoon has relations there, so it makes sense that she would go as well.    I suppose Holy Roller felt it was God’s will.  The others, though… most of them have good intentions, I’m sure, but as mother always says, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Mind you, I did consider going with them.  Don’t think I wasn’t tempted.  Terrible things are happening in Egypt, if what Jonathan Hive is reporting on the internet can be believed.   “What would Jetboy do?” I asked myself.  Robert Tomlin never shied away from a fight.   But he never broke his word either, and all of us signed those contracts.  The network and the producers have put a lot of money into American Hero.  Hundreds of people tried out for the show, and they picked us.  I don’t think it is fair for us to repay them by running off before the show is over.  I spoke with mother about it as the others were throwing clothes into their bags, and she agreed.  “Jetboy was no quitter,” she reminded me.  “Win or lose, Howard, he kept fighting to the very end.”

That’s so.  So I am still here, and I’ll be here to the end.

Now it looks as though the American Hero will be Stuntman or Rosa Loteria.  The way I see it, it all comes down to luck.  Stuntman is Stuntman; he’s tough, he bounces back, he keeps on coming, but he’s what he is, never more and never less.  Rosa’s power is all chance.  She shuffles that deck and draws a card, and it’s all so random.  Some of her personae have formidable powers, but she’s just as likely to transform herself into chicken-woman or melon-girl,  with no more power than your average joker.

And no one wants us to say this, but it should have been Curveball.  She could have taken either of them, or both of them together.

But never mind.  It’s been a long ride, but it’s almost over, and I can’t wait to get home to Philadelphia.  I’m going to take mother to Pat’s King of Steaks as soon as I arrive.  No one out here knows how to make a proper cheese steak.

Confessional : Jerusha Carter aka Gardener

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Coming up :	Jetman Confessional	Rosa Loteria Confessional
	Wild Fox Confessional

Confessional : Jerusha Carter aka Gardener

You can’t say it hasn’t been exciting...

I mean, the earthquake the other night, and we damned near lost the whole Discard House.  Wish you guys could have made that one of the tests — there was some real heroism and teamwork, and everyone here in the Discard House won.  You couldn’t have voted any of us off.

I do regret losing the garden I had in the back, though; I’d worked so hard on that.  I don’t think there was a more unusual one in several states, and I remember thinking that, hey, at least this hillside isn’t likely to go tumbling away in the next big rainstorm:  those trees will do a fine job of holding everything together.

Guess I forgot about earthquakes.  I never will again, I’ll tell you that much.

What do I think about being a Discard?  Well, part of me wishes... actually, I’m not sure what it wishes.  Maybe that I was like some of the others who broke their contracts and left the show.  What?  You can shake your head all you want, but I really don’t care.  Those people were my friends too — at least some of them, and those that weren’t are still people I care about — and now several of them have put themselves in harm’s way.  I’m worried about them.  What they’re doing isn’t television.  It’s not staged.  It’s not controlled.  It’s not safe.  And it could get some of them hurt or even...

No, I’m not even going to say that word.  Mom always used to tell me that “saying it might make it happen.”

Why’d I stay if I feel this way?  I don’t know.  Part of it is that I was always brought up to fulfill commitments I made, and I signed that contract of my own free will.   I said I’d stay to the end — I made that promise.

But that’s just an excuse, really.  Most of it is because... because specifically nobody asked me to come with them. 
Yeah, I know; that sounds stupid.  No one was issuing invitations, after all — the idea just kinda spread through the house.  Still, no one came to me and said “Jerusha, you wanna come with?"

Maybe that’s my fault:  I’m not gregarious and extroverted like most of them.  I called them ‘friends,‘ yeah, and I meant it, but I don’t know that they’d use the same word toward me.  I mean, God, look at DB — if the spotlight’s not on him, he’s gonna walk over and wheel it around it so he’s in the light, all six arms waving.  Me, I like solitude.  I like that I can walk into a store somewhere and no one knows that I’m an ace or anyone special at all.  I’m comfortable being all alone for days and weeks at a time in the forest or camping.  I like being alone and I’m OK with silence — that’s why I was out back in that garden so much.  It’s also why I never had one of those ‘showmances’ you people love to film and talk about — I figure that one day I’ll meet someone, and I’ll just know.

I’m not a natural joiner, so I wasn’t part of anyone’s group and none of them ever asked my opinion or said they’d like it if I went with them.

No, no — this isn’t all “pity poor Jerusha.”  You reap what you sow; that’s part of the consequences of being the way I am, and I’m OK with that.  Really.  I don’t blame them at all; it’s all on me.  Just me.

But if they’d asked me to go with them to Egypt?  If I’d known what they were planning, would I have gone? Sure, I’d have thought about it.  Contract or no contract, I would have.  I’d have thought about it seriously.

Mom and Dad, they’re all about stewardship — that’s the way most of the people who get into the Park Service are.  They care about the land. They want to protect it; they want it to stay pristine.  I feel the same way:  I’m responsible for making this a better world to live in.  I’ve always kinda thought that with my gift, my role would be to literally become a capital-G Gardener, that I’d bring green life back to places.  A new Johnny Appleseed, maybe. But maybe I was thinking too small.  Too solitary.  Maybe I’m supposed to do more.

So I don’t know...

The show?  Oh, yeah.  That.   Stuntman and... umm, Rosa.

I guess maybe that we’re down to those two, I’d prefer that Rosa win.  I don’t know her all that well — I guess I don’t really know any of them all that well, and again that’s my fault — but she seems nice, and she’d be a good representative, I guess.  Sure, Stuntman and I are both African-American, but he’s got that big chip on his shoulder, and the way I was brought up.… well, I was always told to be proud of my heritage and ancestry, but that pigmentation don’t make a person much beyond being darker or lighter than someone else.  That’s easier to believe, I’ve found, when you’re out in the middle of Grand Tetons than when you’re in the middle of a big city like LA, where the color of your skin sometimes seems to be all that matters, but I’m not going to root for Stuntman because of that. If he wins, fine.  But I’ll root, a little anyway, for Rosa.

What’s for me after American Hero?  I really don’t know.  I’ve been giving it more thought lately, since everything ends real soon, and especially since Curveball and Simoon and the others took off.  I’ve had offers from a couple seed companies for endorsements, and there’s this agent who says he wants to handle me, but I don’t know that that’s what I want.  I want to see what happens out in the world, with the aces who left here.

I do know there’s one thing I’ll do, no matter what.  Once this is all over, I’m going to go back home and be with my parents a bit and talk to them about things, then do some hiking and camping on my own.  Out there in the Tetons, the cold air might clear my head enough that I can see where I’m supposed to be going.

Once I know, once I’m sure, that’s where I’ll go.

Week 11: How the Cards Fall

Week Eleven Recap: The Final Three

And then there were three: Curveball, Rosa Loteria, and Stuntman.

Only two weeks remain in the competition of a lifetime. Before preparing for their last challenges, the final three contestants took a break to visit their hometowns, and the cameras followed them to record reunions with friends and families.

Curveball took us to Portland, Oregon, the beautiful City of Roses. She visited Parkrose Middle School and the baseball diamond where her wild card turned during softball tryouts when she was thirteen. Her coach from those days gave a tour and told us, "I always knew Kate would go far." Her proud parents hosted a backyard barbeque for their ace daughter. Dozens of friends, teachers, teammates and relatives were on hand to toast Portland's favorite native.

We didn't have to travel far to check in on Rosa Loteria's neighborhood in East Los Angeles, where dozens of cousins, aunts, and uncles were on hand to cheer on their favorite ace. It was a real fiesta, with all the food, music, and dancing that could be packed into a city block. In honor of the occasion, Rosa ran a real loteria game for her friends and admirers.

Stuntman started out doing stunts for movies, and he introduced us to some of the people he's worked with. He took us to the Valley, to the site where he discovered his wild card after falling from a water tower as part of a student film project. "He's the real deal, a real upstanding guy," his colleagues, directors and actors, said of him again and again. Friends gathered in his favorite bar in his old Inglewood, California haunts to toast the ace finalist.

The vacation was short lived, and soon the three returned to face this week's challenge. This time, no teams stood with them. This time, they were on their own. At the end, one of them would be discarded as we move one step closer to deciding who will be the American Hero.

What better way to test the final three aces than to give them a challenge that incorporates everything they've done until now? Obstacle courses, puzzles, villains, daring rescues — and this time, they didn't have their teams backing them. They were on their own. The scenario: Each contestant had to enter a city block that has been overrun by terrorists. Once there, they must rescue a hostage and retrieve a "bomb" before the timer reaches zero.

First, they faced the gauntlet: a veritable army of foes whose only job was to keep them from entering the occupied territory and completing their tasks. Stuntman, immune to the blasts and bullets directed at him by the dozen of armed "terrorists," only had to put his head down and run. Taking hits and dodging enemies, he reached the doors to the warehouse, and escaped to the next phase of the challenge. Curveball kept her distance, throwing foam balls that stood in for more dangerous projectiles, and one by one took out all the combatants, leaving her free to continue on. Rosa Loteria had a little more trouble and took three tries to draw a card that could help her, El Valiente. This put her behind the others, and the clock ticked on.

Inside the warehouse, the three would-be heroes faced an obstacle course. They've traversed courses like this before, but this one had a twist: not all the obstacles were physical. In one phase of the course, the contestants faced three doors. Only one led to the hostage. A riddle written on each door gave the clue to the correct path.

Stuntman chose correctly--the middle door. Through the door, he had to traverse a maze, and at the end of the maze he found the hostage. Once freed, the hostage pointed him to the next part of the challenge. Curveball took a different approach: throwing marbles, she broke open the doors one after the other, hoping to find the hostage more quickly than she could by solving the riddle. Seeing the mazes on the other side, however, she returned to the riddles and eventually found the right passage, freed the hostage, and went on to the rest of the challenge.  Once again, luck wasn't with Rosa: she chose the wrong door not once, but twice. Exploring two wrong mazes before finding the correct one took time that she couldn't spare.

A booby-trapped corridor led to the final step of the challenge. Trap doors, foam arrows, and hidden attackers waited to stop our heroes. As usual, Stuntman simply barreled through and weathered the beating, showing off his athletic ability by leaping trapdoors and dodging attacks. He reached the final room and bomb in record time, but even he was looking the worse for wear after so much abuse. Curveball didn't do nearly as well, nearly falling out of the race — literally — when she tripped a trap door. She caught herself in time, but had to haul herself back into the corridor while simultaneously fending off an attack from a stray terrorist. She almost didn't reach the end of the corridor at all, despite the impressive display of skill and determination, and unfortunately didn't reach the bomb in time. Though only a few seconds late, the spray of a paintball pellet told the story. If this had been a real scenario, the device would have exploded and destroyed this part of the city. Rosa handled the obstacle course without a problem — finally, the cards were on her side, and the Diablito card let her speed through and destroy most of the booby traps before they had a chance to catch her. However, the time she'd spent getting through the riddles at the doors and rescuing the hostage came back to haunt her. Like Curveball, she arrived a few seconds too late and was caught by the bomb.

Only two of the three would move on to the final week. But the judges announced a special procedure to choose who would continue on — and who would be leaving for good.

We haven't forgotten our Discards, the twenty-five aces who didn't make the final cut. As many have speculated, their time on the show hadn't come to an end. Those old alliances, rivalries, and team loyalties once again played a part in the game, because the final Discard vote, the final decision as to which of these three moved on to the very last challenge was made by the Discards themselves. Who better to determine who has what it takes to continue on? Who better to judge these three than the former contestants who lived with them and fought by their sides ? Old rivalries were rekindled and long-forgotten grudges returned with a vengeance as our three finalists faced down their fallen comrades.

The voting was close, and everyone had an opinion about who was most worthy to continue on in the competition, and who deserved to get the boot. Tiffani had this to say about Curveball: "Am I the only one who thinks she's kind of a bitch?"

As it turned out, her feelings may have been more common than she thought, because guess who the Discards voted to join them? Curveball. There you have it: next week, two aces face off for the million dollars and all the glory.

Rosa Loteria or Stuntman?

Who will be the American Hero?

Keep on the look out for this week's confessions:
Gardener	Jetman	Rosa Loteria	Wild Fox